If I ever say “I blog about crypto” – the next words out if the persons mouth (but with a sarcastic smiley seriousness about it) is “so…what should we be doing with Bitcoin? Any recommendations?”
To which I reply with a side tapping of my nose as if I’m keeping some secrets of Crypto from the world – “Ahh…you’ll have to wait and see”, or “well it changes all the time”.
More often than not, some random stranger comes out from nowhere and pipes up, “ohh Bitcoin is not so hot right now, its diving all over the place” or alternatively the person who asked the question replies to themselves and usually says “well I guess you just blog about it right? You’re not a mathematician.”
Right. I’m not a mathematician nor am I a bitcoinologist nor am I Crypto keeper nor am I a holder of ancient wisdom that studied this.
But what I do know is that so long as this thing is trending and viral I will blog the hell out of it. And so, without further ado, here are MY unofficial A-F of Crytpocurrency facts. That F has replaced the Z for a reason and you’re in for a treat.
a) A is for almost never say yes to the dress bitcoin. Yes dress. Yes dress it up. Dress up for bitcoin, very real – here…
https://pinterest.com/pin/840202874205195498/?source_app=android
b) B is for Bitcoin Bling. Don’t forget the bitcoin bling to go with that dress tonight.
https://allthingsdecentral.com/products/bitcoin-logo-pendant
c) Enough Bitcoin, C is for Crypto – Crypto is one of the most Googled words, like ever.
d) D is for Days – according to this pretty infographic, you can live 90 days on Bitcoin and probably not a Ramen noodle in sight.
https://bitcoinplay.net/58-insane-facts-about-bitcoin/
e) E is for Etherum, a Cryptocurrency made from poisonous chemicals Ether and what it was worth in the olden days compared to modern day currency. JK. In other words and for real though, personally it looks like Bitcoin’s Ex GF like Harry’s Chelsea GF ready to pounce at any given moment.
f) F is for (lets keep this P.G 13 and not involve 3rd party websites – I’m not going to swear) But yes. This is what you do. Google “how to invest in Bitcoin”, pick one of the “brokers” sites that don’t look too scammy ( preferably Google them too and see some reviews, check their FB and social media, tweet to them and see how responsive they are). If all of that goes well, do like you’d do with any other online product you’d buy and open an account and add your card details. Now comes the serious part.
You’ll get a wallet. You’ll get to look at a hellish Bitcoin chart. Imagine when the doctor looks at your blood pressure or whatever and you see all the ups and downs kinda like a polygraph test. So look at the chart. You know in the news and how trends on Twitter get excited, what with all the “#BitcoinIsUp” thing? Well on this chart, when its peaked, essentially like 2 days before that would have been a good time to place your money.
FOR THE LOVE OF G-D ASK YOURSELF THIS BEFORE YOU BUY AN AMAZON TV WORTH THAT AMOUNT , HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THAT TV GOT LOST IN THE POST, THE SELLER DISAPPEARED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND ALL EVIDENCE INCLUDING ONLINE RECEIPTS VANISHED INTO THIN AIR, YOU NEVER SEE THAT MONEY AGAIN AND NEVER GET YOUR TV AND YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME?
Cool with that? Great! Complete your exchange through the wallet service. The brokerage will let you know how it goes.
Overly cynical about this but millennial’s need to see that you’re at risk and if I needed to CAPS it all up then desperate times call for desperate measures. I hope you all think like this before you place your trades. It’s made easy for a reason.
Millennial Genie 